From Rock Bottom to Rebuilt: Addiction, Identity and Choosing to Rise with Heather Simco

In this episode of Piece of Work, Danielle Tantone sits down with transformation coach and entrepreneur Heather Simco for a powerful conversation on resilience, reinvention, and what it really means to live a “sober-minded” life.

Heather shares her journey from a self-made business owner to hitting rock bottom with alcohol, and ultimately rebuilding her life through recovery, faith, and purpose. With over a decade of sobriety and 20+ years in entrepreneurship, she now helps high-achieving women break free from burnout, addiction, and self-sabotage—mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Together, Danielle and Heather explore the messy middle of transformation: navigating identity shifts, setting boundaries, outgrowing relationships, and finding your niche in both life and business. They also unpack the difference between therapy and coaching, the realities of addiction, and how to begin healing—whether you’re questioning your habits or ready for your next level.

This episode is a reminder that growth isn’t about perfection—it’s about choosing, again and again, to rise.

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Transcript

Audio Only - All Participants 1:06

Welcome back to Piece of Work. I have another exciting guest with me today. I have Heather Simco, who's a transformation coach and founder of Complete Concierge Solutions and Sober Boss Babe. She helps high achieving women break free from burnout, alcohol, and self-sabotage. Through mental, physical, and emotional sobriety with 20 plus years in entrepreneurship and over a decade sober Congratulations. Thank you. She teaches women how to reclaim their energy, elevate their leadership, and build aligned high performance lives and businesses. Wow. I can't wait to learn more. Yes. Thank you for being here. Tell me, oh, thank you for having me. Yes. Yeah. What drew you, I'm curious to this podcast and what. Do you think we will want to talk about today? Oh yeah. So same like even what you've been through in, even in the coaching world, like everything that we're trying to, like when you're reinventing yourselves having been through so many hardships where you pick yourself back up and do life again it's not how many times you fall, how many times you get back up. And to be with other like-minded women who have just lived life, who are ready to share their message, who are willing to be vulnerable I've just, I've lived in too many worlds where. Women are picking a apart each other instead of helping lift each other up. And I think it's so important to help each other out, especially in this new world that we're all trying to navigate in, which is ever changing, to have more and more connection and just more positive support for one another as opposed to competing. Like how can we help each other grow? And so having all these connections in the podcast world, to help you grow, help me grow, help us all live this new dream in a world is. Just a huge passion of mine to lay that out in any ways we can help each other is just so it's fun and to have passion and purpose and eventually, hopefully a paycheck behind the, eventually. I love that. Yeah. Have them all line up is, that's the dream. You can't be more blessed that I'm curious, how did you come to this coaching work? What did you do before? What did you do after high school? I love hearing people's stories. Whirlwind. Okay. So I grew up in a family that was self-employed. So my dad repaired spas. I grew up in California. I became self-employed, so to speak, since I was 11. I was a neighborhood babysitter, like those was babysitters, club books, all that stuff. So I was like the neighborhood babysitter, like they would line. Like it was first come, first serve. Like I got to go to Lake Tahoe. It was amazing. Maybe getting paid really well, even back in the, you look a little younger than me, but yeah, it, I would make 15,$20 an hour even. Yeah. 20, 30 years ago. Yeah. Yeah, it was, yeah. How old are you? I'm 51. Okay. I'm 45. Yeah. But yeah, so I would let parents decide what they could afford. So it made it always easy, but they're like, okay, great, this is in our budget. So it could be from$3 to$10 an hour. And so That's awesome. It worked out. It was just always booked, which was fantastic, which was a nice, safe haven. But my parents were teenagers when they had me. I, my dad divorced obviously'cause that didn't work. And then remarried. My stepmother was very Cinderella like. Upbringing. And very cool. Moved from California to New York where my stepmother was from. Went to college and I, my goal was to be a school teacher, and so I went to college for that because it was stable and New York teachers make a decent amount of money. And then I met my husband who was self-employed. So he was running at the time a MMA gym in the nineties when it was just in its infancy, like baby infancy. And now everyone, it's a household. Topic right? Back then it was like, what is this Brazilian juujitsu stuff like, huh. So I met him, he is I'm a family business. And I was like, rolled up my sleeves. I'm like I got this. And so we built an empire, had my stable job, the health insurance, so we've always teeter tottered. One of us is a stable, one of us is the, building the business. And we built enough that I got to leave my teaching job in 2010. And built the business. So we had 400 members. We were online, we were selling, we have the biggest, still the biggest book in the topic. Over 800 pages published like this giant, basically Bible of Brazilian jiujitsu and DVDs before YouTube, like from the forefront of instructional. It was insane. It was such a cool ride. But it blew up. And we eventually had multiple locations and through all of this I didn't realize their addiction was underneath all of this. And so we ended up bringing on a shareholder, retiring, semi retiring in our thirties, like living the dream. And from these homeless, we are actually both homeless and out on, at 17 years old. So homeless kids in their teens to like retiring in Naples, Florida in our thirties. It was like, can, we couldn't have made that up if we tried. And so we moved down here. I have too much time on my hands and I don't know where you live, but in Naples. In Florida's so much easier to get ahold of alcohol. I'm in Arizona, by the way. Okay. Yeah. It's also warm and Yes. Vacation. Like vacation town. Yeah. So there's happy hours everywhere and getting alcohol, I could go to CVS and buy wine. They didn't sell wine in grocery stores in New York. Like you had to literally work hard to do it. Where here it's like you can go seven 11 it just it's, oh yeah. It's so easy to go. It falls from the sky and so you can even order it on. On now post COVID, I'm like, thank God I'm sober now. Is really to say it's oh my gosh, I'm not drinking alcohol, I'm drinking. No, I don't care. I to each their own, I, everyone's on their own journey. But so we came down here and so I've always been like, between a school teacher, I've always been the mom of the group. I've never had a really. Healthy mom relationship. I reconnected with my mom when I was older. She didn't raise me and I was cut off from her. And so we have this she was 16 when she had me. So are we friends? Are we sisters? Like it's always this, right? Have a relationship, but it's. It's not a normal mom daughter relationship. No, not at all. And then I forgiven my stepmom, but I, for healthy boundary reasons, we don't, we're not in touch anymore. But we moved down here and I had too much time on my hands. I got in a car accident. Rear ended like the first two weeks we were down here. And I couldn't do any of the martial arts that I was used to doing. Like I taught the kids class and women's classes. So I've always been in the, in an industry where I've always been helping counseling, whether it's kids, teens, self-defense for women Yeah. And all of that. And it's just always been in there since I can even remember, right? I've known that was always my passion. And so alcoholism hit, I hit my bottom. We found a church, and I found women who introduced me to sobriety. It took me about a year or so before it finally. My surrender moment, which embrace it. Yeah. Yeah. It was, my anniversary is actually on the 30th of this month, April 30th. So I'll have 12 years. Awesome. That's amazing. Congratulations. I hit Thank you. And so I hit that. I just can't do this anymore. Like literally I couldn't work. I was in the loop of doctors and pit, whatever, I can't remember what it's called, but when you get in a car accident, the car insurance pays for this stuff, not your actual health insurance. And so I was in this like mill, we were foreclosing in a house in New York. Our shareholders sued us because of a hungover email I sent. And then I'm be, I'm suing my insurance company who is now deposing me because I somehow made it up like I wanted to lose all of this over getting rear ended. Like I did that on purpose. And really, alcoholism became that pivotal moment where I had to deal with just me, all the things underneath it and to then be able to transform coming out of we, we lost a business. Luckily we didn't lose our house or anything else. Like I'm one of the fortunate ones in recovery. I didn't have the DUI we call it yet, like you're eligible too. Everything else was intact, but it was on a very, the fact my marriage survived is a miracle in itself. It is. It is a miracle. It's no small miracle actually. No, it's huge. I don't take it for granted. You just don't survive. Even lesser stresses than that. Very well aware. Yes. And so we at church, fast forward, we ended up getting voluntold. I got put on the board, my husband on the worship team from our previous lives, which was insane. And now he's the lead pastor and I'm a pastor's wife. Oh my gosh. How cool. Recovery. What a change, like what a transf MMA to like running a church like the behaviors, it's similar, humans are humans. I say just'cause there's a steeple, it doesn't change the people. But the human nature is the same. So we're in a very similar mindset, but coaching has just, it's always been I've always been the mom figure to people who, because I didn't have one, and so I just, I'm always been everyone's mom, which is funny and rebuilding. My entire life and what that looks like and being self-employed. So I've, I became I've done a lot of work just doing admin and helping business women on the backend really kinda help clean up their business and help them propel forward. And it was so much more counseling than it was logistics. And all of that. And so I'm like I should really just be paying for the counseling side, not the logistics side. And so that's really where I made that massive transition where, instead of, I, I do still have some admin clients that I'm, I've just known for so long. But to be able to coach in that recovery world, and really my goal now is to help whether you're addicted or not helping women. Who put themselves on the back burner who are so high achieving, but we don't know how to take care of ourselves and find that healthy work life balance. And you don't have to be addicted to be an addict, to be addicted. Being sober minded mentally, physically, and emotionally. Like we get caught up in, toxic relationships in, our emotions in the food that we put inside of ourselves and or coping mechanisms. My first drug of choice was food, same route, different branch. And so trying to help women really identify cleaning the body so that they can be. That sober boss, babe. So it's not necessarily putting down a drink, it's putting down the things that are holding you back so you can propel forward. And that's really, that's beautiful. Thank you. The, to be able to do that has been it's so amazing and I have success stories, but I've also got a lot of good, bad examples of what happens when, someone who wants it but doesn't want it enough to change. And so that's I'm just so passionate about helping women find that and from other women and supportive because. Business world is I was in a man, most industries are dominated by men. And so that's what I was gonna ask you is, yeah, how did you come to, did it take some time to come to the niche of, high achieving women as you said, or? Yes, and I Did you wait, I resonate with men too, and I. I personally, because I've worked in the male industry, I've lived in a locker room for 20 years. I don't work with men. I'll work with men if they're attached to the woman first, out through them, because the emotional connection, it's, that's not my job. My job, I'm gonna help the woman first. If even in our ministry, my husband's I'll talk to you once. Go talk to my wife. Because you. You don't want any pitfalls. It's part of having a successful relationship after so long is not letting that in. So yeah. But to niche down.'cause I know you've, you're on the same journey. It's like there's so many programs out there. I'm like, I thought I had a niche. Okay, now, I knew it in my real world that people around me, but how do you put that into words online that makes sense to people. And so I finally found it. Now that high achieving that silver, this is like finally cultivated work. It was resonating with people where I finally got some traction. I was like, finally. But I know with you, it's like banging your head on the wall. You're like, okay. Yeah. And it's funny because I have such a broad kind of experience, I've gone through what should be my niche? Should I talk to divorced women? Should I talk to people going with who have kids going through addiction. Should I talk to people who've had breast cancer survivors? And I never liked having one subject matter be the niche. I wanted it to be more of like a. An energy or a, like a type of, rather than a specific demographic. So yeah, I'm still working through it and I, yeah. My podcast is called Piece of Work and my book, yeah, my memoir piece of work. We're all a piece of work, a work in progress, and a work of art. And so Exactly. I actually love the Journey and I love, I realized that almost the podcast is the product, like I having a broad spectrum of. Different viewpoints. Yesterday I interviewed someone about marriage and I have a breast cancer survivor coming on soon, so we'll see where it goes. But that's very fascinating that you were able to. To hone it in and find a niche that made sense. Yeah. With your background, even for now, but I'm still it's still like any, I've worked with mom, like it's still, my goal is to eventually open to any woman. I think that at least the sober part of mind, body, and spirit. Open it to,'cause for me, I can really, it's any woman, right? I work with 20 something year olds, I work with 70 something year olds. Like right? I'm, and that's what happened to me. First, I'm like, I just wanna help women. Which ones? I'm like, why do I have to define that? Like, why do I have to decide? Yeah. Just women, I can help you Call me. I got you. It's like I hear, I feel your pain. It was just, it's, that was the most. Frustrating part of pivoting online.'cause in the real world, a woman's these are my problems. I'm like, okay, let's walk through them. Like it just go to Heather for help. And to have to be so specific online makes it, it feels. Constricting and I'm sure you feel that too, but I think that it, there's a difference between who you're marketing to and who you can actually serve. Yes, exactly. Exactly. I think it's important to, to pick a niche so that people know what you're offering, I think. Yeah. And then like you said, later, it can expand. It doesn't, it's not like you only help people who are recovering addicts. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Just women in general. But yeah, I figured, okay, if I can get laser focused, I at least have an audience. And the more people who I can serve, then it can fan out from there. It's absolutely. Then it'll happen naturally. So I was like, okay, if I don't find something that makes sense to me, my message, because like I said, I can help you build a bit I've helped so many different angles in all the different walks of life. It, fitness, wellness, the same thing with you. It's which one do I pick? But that's where it's Right. I'll just Very interesting. I'll put it all in the package. Yeah. So feel paid. So do you help people who are. Who are trying to become sober or only once they've already become sober or all of the above? It can be in any room. Honestly. If you can help with addiction, you can help with, just wanting to raise to the next level. Yes, you can have someone who's struggling or someone who's actually rising above it and wanting to know what's next because there's layers, like I'm at 12 years and there's so many different phases once you're sober, that to be able to catch at different places to prevent. Either backsliding certain habits, because we put one thing down doesn't mean there's not something else. It usually channels itself. And so for women who have already put down the drink who are actually identified as self-identified as addicts, helping them figure out how to channel the energy to something constructive instead of deconstructive, because it's how our minds are wired. And then for someone who's just getting sober. I've sponsored plenty of women. So there's plenty of tools for me to help them get past that in the proper support system to clean up and then move to the next level. So really, and even like you as mom, who has a child who's dealing with addiction, I counsel families I've had there's so many different realms.'cause it is a very insidious disease. It comes with a lot of pain, a lot of hurt, a lot of lies. And unless you live that or walk that path, it's very hard for someone to walk you through that'cause they don't know what that feels like. It's right. It is a pain in itself that is just unlike anything else. And and like any other hardship, someone who has cancer is gonna understand that better, but. The, especially in this realm. So it really is the addiction. Yeah. I think specifically people are not gonna wanna follow or be coached by someone who hasn't experienced it themselves. It takes one to know one. Yeah. Yeah. And like I said the mindset we walk through, especially ministry, is the people who are on the receiving end, the family members, helping them identify it, not enabling them, like there's so many other tools on the other end to help them and to alleviate the pain that they're feeling. That watching their loved one go through something so horrible.'cause my husband watching me through this is just, we, yeah, we've lived that pain and come out on the other side and it's an ugly disease. It really is. And it's very unforgiving. And it doesn't discriminate. And that's the other thing too. That is for sure. Yeah. It doesn't care what you look like or where you come from. So true. So for the woman who's listening, who's, who may be questioning, do I, maybe I have a problem, maybe I should get some help. What would you offer, like what, right here on the podcast, what could they do today to begin that healing journey? Or short of calling you? Obviously that would be Yeah, of course. Yeah. But honestly, that is, if you are asking, it's probably true. And we know that as women, like we, we are so intuitive. We know if you have a problem with it, if you're hiding it, you'll probably if you're not willing to talk about it openly. You probably have a problem with it. So I would say I'm working on actually putting together a quiz like, are you addicted? Type of thing. So I'll be putting that on my, I have to build that, so that's fun. I'm right there. I'm also building a quiz myself and I, my daughter, it's like my team is really, thank God she's 21. Now's awesome. But to be able to do that, so that's a really good tool or any of the tools that are out there. But to really self discovery first really start looking at, is my life manageable? Is this, where. If you really think you might have a problem, you probably do. Like I, I started with self-help books. I was looking for every other version to control my drinking for year, for years. So if you are looking, I, now we have Amazon, but back in the day with Barnes and Noble actually went in person to pick up books. Yep. I remember dinosaurs here, it's like our middle age. It's oh, that'll help. So if anyone's in any of that, then, they're local tools. Just, I would find something trusted, whether it's your church, a local recovery group. Just get on the phone with someone trusted and start that journey for yourself to really discover whether or not that's for you or if it's a coping me mechanism.'cause there's. There is gray area in that, so there's the attic, but, where do you fall? Is it just a bad habit in coping that's hurting you or is it truly an addiction in figuring that out? So sometimes, yeah. And it could be self-medicating too. Definitely. Yeah. Which can then that meet, that makes it, that, the handling of it different or not, but Yeah. And that's where, okay, what else can, what are you self, that's where I would come in, is help you, what are you not dealing with that you need to cope with? That you're, you're self soothing with, that's, you're escaping from that. And that's where you don't necessarily have to be an addict. We all have trauma. We all have the world that we live in. So what is it that you're not willing to face and really look at that? And that's, it's another tool of, what is that? And then how can we find a healthier way for you to manage that as opposed to something that's harmful And that, and it could be just. You do this instead and you still have your one glass of wine if you're not truly an alcoholic, like it's gonna look different for every person, and that's why I do offer concierge. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. That's a cool distinction because I think that's the fear is oh my gosh, I'm never gonna be able to have a drink again if I admit I have a problem. Exactly. That was me. But always, it's not always the case. It really isn't. Some people just, they just have a bad bout because they're sugar. There's certain, me, just mechanisms in any of those substances to keep you addicted. Even in our food. They put things in there to make sure that you want it, as opposed to when you take it outta your system, are you actually truly addicted to it or were you just leaning on that? That you can go back to it in a smaller amount. Everyone. No one should be eating sugar in large amounts, but usually most of us, once we have it in, can have a little bit of sugar. You can have a cupcake. You can, you're not, yeah, you're not gonna throw urging on it all the time. You're totally addicted to it. So I would equate it more to that. So if you're afraid like, oh gosh, I'll never have a glass of wine again. Which for me that was me. You may not be you. You might be able to figure out what else in your body needs to be taken care of, healthfully. So that, you might not be in that, necessarily that spectrum, but catching it because it can become, you can still, you don't have to be an addict for it to start ruining your health. The inflammation, us as women with hormones, there's so many other pitfalls when you're over, over soothing with some, with any kind of escape mechanism that you have in your life. Absolutely. Yeah. So can you speak a little bit to the difference for people who might be listening who might not really know, like why would somebody go to a transformational coach? Versus a therapist to deal with these kind of issues. Yeah, so my role in this is, and I've been through therapy and I fully believe in that I am here for you when you're done with that. Like I'm not gonna dig out your pie. We can use and know what those triggers are to know how to better respond, but. Huge thing. Even the way we do church, we stay in our lane. If there's a therapist who needs to deal with your trauma, go to them. Qualified person who can handle that. If you have a DT or you need medicated, there's something else that you need to deal with, take care of that first. As a life transformation coach, it's. You've, you cleaned up your past. You need guidance to move forward. I still have a coach and I've totally No I would've said it the same way. Yeah. I just, I was curious how you would say it. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. It's a movement forward. It'll have their place. It's not one that's better than the other. They're just different. They're different tools and having the most, I, I always say it, especially with all so many mental illness and all the different things that are out there. You figuring out what makes you, I'm not gonna step in someone else's lane. There's a medical level there's all these different things. Once you have those under control, now let's look at all of that. Look at all the pieces of your life and how do we move forward with the tools, with what you have now to move forward so you don't stay back in those old habits. And that's where the transformation actually truly happens.'cause we want it to stick, get you there and keep you there. That's the main point, honestly. Love it. Yeah. And I think I, I think that it's important to, to know what triggers you have so that you don't fall into it again, because life is gonna keep going on, there's gonna keep being things that don't go as expected and bring you down. And you gotta have a different tool like you said to go to Yeah. When you encounter difficulties. Yeah. To find resilience and to find how to self soothe without hurting yourself. Without harming yourself. Yeah, me like, I literally, I dove in with my coach over the past year and a half because I put down the drink. But my first drug of choice was food. Like every, you can't not eat. And that food addiction is, honestly, I think it's one of the worst.'Cause. Everything else you can abstain from. Yeah. It's not like you can just quit cold Turkey eating, obviously. Yeah. You can't not eat. That's not, it's the same with my struggle. My biggest struggle was relationship addiction. Like love addiction for lack of a better Yeah, no, it makes sense. And it was very hard. I remember saying at the time, this was like, more than a decade ago that I. Went through this and it was like, how do you, it's not like Al alcoholics Anonymous, you just give up the drink, you just never drink again, and you just stay away from bars and, but you can't stay away from relationships. You can't stay away from, you couldn't, can't stay away from people there. Exactly. Part of what makes us human. And so you have to find a way to, to. Ingest the relationships healthily and that's finding the different tools, putting up boundaries. That's a huge part of what I work with women for because like I said, we're such people pleasers. We're always, we're natural caregivers. And so there's a hard time of knowing when to put that boundary up and make sure that you're taking care of yourself without feeling selfish or guilty about it, so that you can continue to help with other people and put those boundaries in place, but to, to the relationship. And for you. I can totally relate to that.'cause I was getting into similar female friendships as my stepmother relationship. I don't have, I didn't have daddy issues. I, it took me until, oh my gosh, halfway through my sobriety, where I'm at now, where I realized, I'm like, I keep picking friends, female friends, just like my stepmother. Why do we end up with these friendships with women? We can feel like I'm four years old. I'm like, holy cow. That's interesting to look at. It blew my mind. I was like, holy moly. And I like saw the chain reaction, like literally left my house. I ended up in a friendship just like my, I was like, this is. This has gotta stop. I have a bad picker for friends that was with females because you don't expect it. It's like a blind spot. You're like, oh yeah. The friendships. But they can, they're just as toxic, if not worse sometimes. Yeah. I actually, that the episode that I published yesterday was about friendship. Why is adult friendship so hard? Yeah, it really is. Yeah. I think all, and now all friendships are hard, like especially, and then, there's the thing about like people just deciding, okay, it's toxic, and I just end the friendship too, which is awesome. Yeah. Which is also, it's one thing to put a boundary, but it's another thing to like just throw people away because they. Toxic when, yeah. Without having a conversation. Yeah. Like we are a human being. Like one of my pet peeves can't, gosh, that person has feelings, even if they're, even if they're not the nicest person or they've messed up in some way. It's like there's a way to leave a relationship responsibly. And that's where I'm like, okay, hurt people. Hurt people. You try not to take it personally, but yeah, no, it reminds me of seventh grade trauma of the girl group who were like, we decided you can't be in the group anymore. And I was like. Okay. It's like what? Have you had a powwow about this actually? Yeah. Have you experienced I what? I've seen like in, in a number of people that I, people that I've coached and people that I've known, friends that I've had, where as you find success and you go down a different path, you really push people away inadvertently, like you, you lose friendships over because you're just, they're not coming with you. They're not going where you're going. They're not in the same. I have a prime example. Yeah. You're in one spot. You evolve and they don't, and then, and that's happened. Especially the more I continue to grow and work and I see they're just, they're, they refuse to change and so they naturally dissipate. It's not that I don't have to cut them off entirely, but it looks, it, the friendship looks very different. Organically almost. Yeah. And recognizing that's a huge pattern. And that's all in everything that we're doing in transformation coaching, is helping you look at your life differently to maximize you as a person for the best version of yourself, as opposed to, just burning bridges, like not, there's nothing healthy about that at all. How do we walk through this and build? For me it was building a proper community of women who I could trust, who I relied on, who were really there for the genuine nature of helping me out as opposed to cutting me down or, were actually genuinely care about each other, which is a hard. Thing to cultivate. But once you have that fertile soil, it's it's almost a priceless thing to be able to have in your life. And so also why I'm so passionate about doing this is it took me forever. I was so much easier around men.'cause it's just very cut and dry. You just tell'em like, it is so much less emotion and it just. That's it. It's, and they might cry about it. I was a little harsh, but I, my husband calls me the emasculator, which is fine. He's fine. He's strong enough to deal with me, but all of the other men in my world, he is watch out Adams here. But when it comes to women, it's oh. And I in my recovery, I had to do like a recovery job. So I worked at Kate Spa part-time. Oh my gosh the fights over commissions. I'd step on toes and didn't even know it was do. I'm like, what Amaya? I felt like you're just trying to do my job here. I was in high school all over again with like grown women. I was like, okay. I, the minute I could kick tail outta there, I was done. I was like, holy it. I was a little, very good learning experience, but never again. I was like, I. No. So I truly believe it's so much more important, especially as we're grown responsible women to have healthy relationships with one another instead of cutting each other down. There's just, there's nothing productive in it absolutely whatsoever. By the way, speaking of building each other up and giving compliments, I can't, the picture's a little, not the greatest, but your hair looks gorgeous. It's oh, thank you. Pretty shiny. Thank you. Appreciate that. Thank you. What's your secret to long, shiny hair? A good, healthy routine. I make sure to use good shampoos. I don't know. I haven't overed it too much. You sent me. I good products, it's worth good products to put in your hair is really what it comes down to. If you're gonna invest in anything, that's probably what you put inside your body makes, yeah, inside and out. I take all my vitamins. Like I said in perimenopausal, it was like, oh my God, my hair started falling out. I was like, oh, dear Lord. It's like when I had my daughter, I was like no. I've took long enough taking care of my hair. Let it grow out. Yes. Start from scratch again. Yeah. Inside and out. I'm trying to grow mine now, but it doesn't really get much longer than this for some reason. Yeah. But yeah, supplements are really great for that, but also just and oh, ashwagandha that I do take that, yes, that I take my gummies before I go to bed. That's been a major tool. A lot of good like natural health growth serums and stuff too, that are, that really help with that. And. Good products. Can send you some of my Yeah. Side note. I know that's not your main, that's not your main word. I'm that person. I'm the maven. I like, if I find a product I love, I can't tell enough people.'cause I don't want the company to go out. U I'm sure everyone knows what UFOs are now because I hit, like I've gotten in a car accident. And so finding comfortable shoes, like they were life changer and you're probably, you live in a warm weather place, so all too. All our floors are tile. Yeah. From carpet up north and I'm like, it was killing me. So UFOs they were just coming out. I was like, please Lord, do not let this company close. Now. They're everywhere. I'm like, thank you. I'll never run out. I haven't worn'em yet. I might have to get some they're amazing. I should probably just have a link of all my favorite things. So You should, I'm always doing, you actually probably could get paid affiliate like anytime I find a favorite product, don't people side business, I shoot it from the everywhere. I'm like, I find a good restaurant. Anything. I'm like, I'm the first person to like, let everyone know. I'm like, you've got to do this. So short of just referring people to everywhere. How, what, we talked a little bit about this, but how are you working with people right now? I know it's obviously evolving. You'll probably have new programs in six months, but for right now, are you doing one-on-one coaching? Predominantly? Do you do group coaching? Do you have a program or something? I have levels, yeah. So I have an online community where you can pay a monthly fee to come in and I go in live and we work the, and we have. Lots of just really healthy women I've worked with. So even if I can't answer questions, you have other positive women in there lifting each other up and working through their issues. So I have the online community, which is the lowest touch point, makes it more affordable to at least get into, what's it called, working with me. It's sober Boss babe community. So it's on my, it's also robust website. Yeah. What's your website? Is it Sober Boss Babe? heathersimco.com and then my program is Sober Boss Babe. But I have, I'm advertising my name for the most part. Got it. And then I have a reset course, which is three days of, or three. I had a three day challenge. I turned it into a course where it's MINDBODY and basically emotions and you can do it at your own pace. So you can purchase that on the website. And then what if you're ready for the one-on-one, you just wanna get cut straight to I'm ready to change. I have my concierge. You do consultation. Make sure that we work well because I wanna make sure if we're gonna go on journey together. We're a good fit and or I have so many women, like you have other people in my arsenal, and if I can't help you, I'd rather. Make sure you get the help that you need to get. So tho those are the three main touch points. And then I'm working on my book right now calling the Sober Boss Babe Blueprint, breaking the bottle to rebuilding the Boss. And I have a retreat, I'm planning at the end of the year'cause I'm in Naples. I have a giant building I disposal. Maybe you need a partner for that. Maybe I'll. That's what I'm saying. So everyone I'm talking to, I'm like, yes, no, and I really, and a lot of the po the women I'm working with is that everyone has a different specialty is to, have, invite different people to speak or share their different angles.'cause everyone, that's what makes us all so wonderful is we have a different angle of what we're helping each other with to find that right fit for a coach or transformation and to just be in a reset mindset that allows you to just meet other like-minded women that are all going through this together as business women in the sea of. Insanity that's going on out there or competing with each other. Just really, it's another way to network and really meet people that are like-minded.'cause it's lonely in the entrepreneurial world. Yeah, it can be. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes you're like, is anyone, am I reaching anyone? Yeah, exactly. Can you hear me? Yeah. So you were talking on the last one I was like. Oh my gosh, it's I yep. I was like there. I was like, so the more we can communicate with each other and that, that's the bit, so anywhere I can help is just that natural in, in innate. Version of me. I just, I love to see people reach their potential and,'cause I've been stifled in so many parts of my life that I could only imagine what would've happened if I had the right kind of support early enough on Yeah. And most of us don't have that.'cause life is life. You don't always win the parent lottery and no. But I think sometimes. One. One thing I've been, one idea I've been exploring is, yes, it's, it sucks. We all wanna have this perfect upbringing, but sometimes the struggles that you had early on, they can go to, they can neither traumatize you. Or they can also traumatize you, but then you can grow from that and rise from it and become like, I think of a butterfly. Speaking of transf, that's all my logos. Yep. Yeah. Like the, I'm sure I'm not surprised at all because it's just the perfect image of transformation. Yeah. And it's literally the struggle that makes it beautiful and strong. It's not, it wouldn't be like that if it didn't have to, if it didn't do the work. And so you can't have that if you have this cushy easy life. You can't have resilience unless you. Or something tries to break you, so it's yeah, it made me a massive problem solver. I'm out at 17 years old, I moved cross country. I didn't have driver's license a car. I had a few hundred bucks to my name. Wow. I'm like, okay, I need to get a job. I worked in the bookstore, so I need to get a discount on my books. Like you have to become very innovative when you go through hardships and you become a massive problem solver for a survival. And so what if it doesn't, ki what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So if you can have the mindset of, alright. This isn't gonna break me. You can move forward from it and learn from it. Yeah. At this point, wouldn't change anything. I've been through all the hardships because on the flip end, to be able to help other people with it I wouldn't be here right now if I haven't been through what I've been through. I completely agree about all the stuff I've been through, and I think that's what I'm trying to reach people about is that. I think that on some level, some people are naturally just more resilient, more innovative, more just their mindset is growth oriented and they're geared automatically to just to take it. Anything that happens to'em, they're just like, okay, what am I, where am I going from here? And they do it almost intuitively, but I think it can also be taught, I think it. That mindset and that what do you think about that? Do you think that's true, or do you think somebody kinda has to I think we're all wired a little different. I don't, I think it depends on the experience. It's really, I, it's almost like a free will thing. I think the person has to decide for themselves whether they wanna let themselves be buried under or whether they wanna rise from it. Because, the, like my actual, my biological mother she's been through her own trauma, but she's just now in her sixties. Trying to work out instead of living. Like a lot of people use it as their identity, and I know a lot of women do. A lot of people do this. They use it as a sense of victimhood to get more attention as opposed to thriving from it. So I just. It, I, in my experience in the world of ministry and mental health, I think it depends. Everyone's got a different, I would say a cocktail, for lack of a better term. Ironic term, everyone's got a different cocktail of their mental illnesses. So I think it really, it's. It's, everyone's a little bit different. And what is the breaking point? And the same thing in recovery. What is the point at which that someone goes, enough is enough. I'm ready to change. Yeah. Yeah. And that person has to decide for themselves. You I think you can, I dunno if you can teach it. I think it's some kind of thing inside of you that's gotta rise and it's like what diamonds are made outta pressure can only teach it when somebody's ready to receive it. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes they have to go through it. And I've seen people lose. So much and you're like, what? I love what you said. I tried to write it down, but oh yeah, my handwriting was too messy and I was trying to still look at you. A person has to decide for themself whether they wanna be buried under it or what was the thing. Rise above it. Rise it. Rise above it. I love that. I think that is, that's the truth. Whether you're talking about addiction, whether you're talking about. Getting a diagnosis or losing a family member? Yeah. Or anything really you can use anything. You can use a broken nail as a reason to be upset for the day. Honestly, no. I think yeah, even like today I found out that I was hoping that I would renew my lease. And I found out that's not gonna happen. That, my landlord doesn't wanna re renew. And I was like, oh, okay. At first I was like, oh, shoot, that's really not, wasn't my plan. And then I was like, okay. I started getting really excited okay, now I have this much time and I can do this and that, and I can start dreaming and start planning and, oh, maybe I'll sell some furniture. Maybe I'll, yeah. Especially as entrepreneurs it turns almost, it sometimes, it's almost like you have to hit an obstacle to figure out how to get over it. Oh, I love that. Yes. It just, it's really, otherwise you just keep going and you get bored. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes the challenge, yeah, the challenge kind of makes you so it, that's, but like I said, every person that, and that thing, if we go full circle, what you're talking about with addiction and dealing with family members, you can't decide that for anyone else. And that's what I've learned even in sponsoring, helping other people, especially ministry, the gamut of any amount of problems you can possibly imagine. We've seen and or dealt with. But really what it is you can't want it more than the person wants it. They have to want it for themselves because everyone needs it, but not everyone wants it. And that's us as transformation coaches is when that spark hits and the person truly wants transformation for themselves. That's a moment at which the magic can begin happening. But until they're ready. To get honest with themselves, to know,'cause it's none of it's, you've bench it through stuff. It's it's never an easy walk in the park to clean up your past and change all of your habits in the way that you know how to live life. Yeah. So it's, and I tell people it's not gonna be, it's not gonna be quick. This isn't like a six week diet. If in order to truly transform, you have to change. And that takes work and real grit. And so someone has to be ready for that transformation and they have to want it. More than you want it for themselves. And I think that's one of the hardest things about substance abuse is that you've just, you're trying to fix something that's already broken underneath. Yeah. And then you've just added a whole new problem that you have to like, recover from. And then once you're recovered from that, you still have. All the reasons that led you to drink in the exactly. First place. And that's where the work begins. Exactly. Oh, so it's it's hard. It's, the storm stops made it that much more com complicated and difficult. It's such a short term solution to it. Yeah. And that's what I try and tell people, how much more of a mess do you wanna clean up if you don't stop now? You know what I mean? Like really.'cause the longer you go, it's always worse. Never better. Like how much more do you wanna clean up? It's like a storm. The hurricane hits, you're gonna have to clean up, but how much more of a mess do you wanna clean up after this? Yeah. Yeah. And that's up to you. And and that's up to every person and that's, and that's where the heartbreaking part comes in. And that's, and that's why I do work with a lot of people to help them. Keep themselves whole as best as possible while they're, they're help, you're helpless. Like you just wouldn't see someone going through that's like, why don't you love yourself? Like all the wise and it's, yeah, it's. Yeah. Like I said, it's and that's with any hardship, people can either, like I said, they can get buried by it or dig themselves out. It's really up to them. Yeah. And you can only do so much as somebody who wants to help, yeah. And from a coaching relationship or a personal relationship. Yeah. And there's a point of enabling, you have to be very careful that you're helping is that can actually. And that's a fine line as well. And so that's a whole other conversation. Yeah. We had a whole conversation about that last night in the parent group that I'm part of. About your child is not you. Their success and their failure is separate from you. Yeah. Like you it's hard, especially as a parent. Oh yeah. It's like a piece of your heart is out in the world. You're like, yeah. They'll bless your parent and you can't understand that. It's just when my dog drives around, I'm like, Ugh. Yeah. It feels like part of my heart is in a car I can't drive. Oh I feel you. Yes. Yeah. Wow. We've covered a lot of ground. Tell me, is there anything else that you wanna share or anything you wanna ask me or anything? Yeah. What I mean, so you're, it's your podcast, but what's your venture look like right now? What was your lease actually what were you doing in the real world? So I'm a nurse, I'm a author, I'm a coach. I have a long, I have a long journey that got me here too. Likewise. Yes. I was a realtor for 25 years. I, what else? I was a journalism major the first time I went to college, and so I, oh, wow. I was always a writer and I always wanted to write a book, and then I went through this kind of transformational journey myself. I was raised Jewish and became a Christian. And then, that's a big jump. Yeah. And so the, so my first book, my memoir a piece of work is about that journey. That faith journey and then all the ways I threw everything up, threw everything away, like really blew up my whole life and messed things up with the love addiction thing and my marriage and and then coming full circle to learning to love myself. Knowing that, I had God's love, even if I didn't have anyone else's. Yeah. And then so through that all then I later decided, what, if I had it to do all over again, I think I'd go back to, I think I'd be a nurse. And so one day I was like I was in my forties. I'm like I think I will. Yeah. So I did. And so I've been a nurse for about five years and I do OB nursing. I love moms and babies, so I'm passionate about. Parents. So whether they're new parents and then I, do a little bit of health insurance for Medicare. So old, the older clients on the other end. Oh yeah. Or a little bit like helping people at all ends of life. Sounds like me. Yeah. And just like you, I wanna be a transformational coach. I call myself a life and resilience coach because Yeah. Life insurance. Yeah. I settled on resilience as the thing. That bouncing back from. The hardest things. And someone asked me once, like, how are you so resilient? Like, how do you just do that with whatever happens, whether it's a phone call that or someone talking to you rudely, or, and I was like it's a lot of experience dealing with difficult things, but, and I've, I created a process. It's called the 5 R Resilience Method. And it's refresh, renew, release, reconnect, and rise. And so it, I, yeah, just finished my, a manuscript for my second book called Resilient. Nice. And working on that. And then I also want, I've done one-on-one coaching. I'm working on a group program and then I would also like to create a couple of smaller products. Workbooks membership. I'm not, I'm not sure and I'd love to, to create an evergreen program too that someone could purchase that just could get the basics without, yeah, without, investing full. It's a good entry point. Yeah, exactly. Same thing. So yeah, I'm very similar. Yeah, very different, but similar, like on the coaching side, just trying to help people in a, have more impact with my, what I've learned about things, not as an expert, but as. Somebody who's walked through some hard Exactly. And you can't get better experience in having lived it. And that's what I found. You can, I've been in the educational world too. There's book knowledge and then there's life knowledge. Something might look good on paper and re, a theory. But until it's in practice, you don't even know whether it's actually gonna work or not. But when someone's actually walked through the real life stuff, and that's that you turning your message into your message and be able to walk people through it. That's the key, the human experience. That's what makes the difference. And people re resonate with the resilience of, and the mindset of what that takes. Like not being broken down or changing all of those things. It's, a key, a cornerstone of making sure that transformation hits so, so true. Is there anything you would say to somebody who maybe has never really considered that they were capable of owning their own business or starting something on their own, but maybe is curious and wants to what would you offer as a starting point for that person? Or what things should they think about to know if that's a given something that they should consider? If you're thi Oh, it's so freeing, it's terrifying. It's a different walk of life, but in my own personal experience, and that I'm working with women even personally, like they have their job set, but to have the ultimate freedom of being able to take what you're, I would say what's your passion? What's your purpose? What are you naturally good at? Like where, where what light? I would ask a person, what lights you up first, like that's for me, like doing this. I don't feel exhausted at the end of the day. Like I'm on, it's, Hey, I know I'm an addict. It's like a natural high actually. Yeah, totally. This is not nice. I'm like I so agree. Yeah. Yeah. And so I would encourage any woman if they want to do it there, there's a path for everyone and we live, we're so fortunate. We live in a digital world, there's so many tools at your disposal. And we live in a country where we as women have the opportunity to live any direction we want to live in if you want to do it. So I would first want her to figure out like, what is it you that truly lights you up and pa and gives you passion? And then what does it look like to be self-employed? And you just start there and then you can map it out from there. It can be digital in person, and you can do it while you're still working your full-time job if you have a fulltime job. Exactly, and I think that one thing you said, what lights you up? What's your, what are you passionate about? Sometimes people tend to think I'm not really passionate about anything. And they discount those little, what lights you up? Because it's like they're not feeling electric light lit up. They're feeling maybe just a little spark and yeah, they discount it because of that. And I think that's important. Listen to those nudges and those, listen to where your things are showing up just in your regular life. And usually it starts with either hobbies, it starts with, whatever it is that you know you did as a kid. Some people it's travel, it's everyone's got something. It can be even just food. You can be a food critic. Like there, there's so many avenues. People are very surprised. The smallest of thing that you like to do can be expanded into a business. It's just thinking outside the box and figuring out what that looks like. And so walking them through that and bringing it into life. And like I said, I've done that with a lot of women in the church already. They're like, really? I'm like. That's needed. Yeah. Business like, wow. Okay. And sometimes it's easier to see that in other people than in even in yourself. If you're a kind of a natural coach, I think, yeah. You hear someone's story and be like, oh my gosh, yeah, you should do this and this. Yeah, that's our job. We're the superpower is catching people's blind spots. They're like, yeah, you've seen that in the scene. Helping them shift their perspective. Exactly. That's why I still need a coach. I'm like,'cause everything, even what I do is so close. I'm like, yeah, even though you can do it for other people, you need someone to do it for you. Yeah. You can't do it for yourself. And I've learned that the hard way. I'm like, you can't coach yourself. You can't give yourself therapy. You can't. You always need another person in and t PT maybe. Good for like small little things, but you do not want chat GPT to be your cofounder. Exactly. AI helps a little bit, but at the same time and I've know people, I'm like, at the end of the day you probably still need to go to a therapist'cause there's some, it's not a certified, the, PTSD trauma therapist. Yes, exactly. You need to actually like. Deal with that. It can give you that. Exactly. It's just pulling stuff on the internet that humans made. So why don't you just go see the human? I guess I, on that note, do you think, and I know how I feel about this, do you, are you worried about AI taking over and the human component being lost completely? I think people are always gonna crave. A level of human nature and it's already happening. Like I see with my daughter. They, she grew up in digital age. The kids are so much, the whole thing, just so funny. They crave actually hardcover books and like physical media where it's, I think as humans we all eventually crave something real intangible. Yeah, I'm looking at it instead of being fearful, okay, what are the, what tools can do this? But I think what it does to humanity makes us. Resilient. It turn, it forces us to look at things in a different way and change the way that we use a tool or change the way that we work around it. So it might make certain types of things obsolete, which happens as humans evolve no matter what. But what does it do? At the end of the day, we also have to interact with each other as actual humans in the real world. So it will have a space, but I don't think it'll ever, I don't know. There will always be a natural crave, even if it, there's a pendulum swing. It'll, I agree with you. I totally, yeah. I think the pendulum swing is a big, is a real thing too, I think. Oh, yeah. I've definitely seen like younger generation wanting to be, I'm a history major, like I've seen it. I'm like, okay, wait, we're on the conservative swing. We'll be on the it just, it goes back, it's human nature. Humans have not changed ever. It's, there's nothing new under the sun. Never. No, not at all. You, it's as a Christian, you, that you, I read, like when I read the Bible, I'm like, there's nothing we can think, do or say that hasn't already been done. Hasn't been done, yeah. Before us. We're not unique like in that sense. And so it is true. Exactly. So the more we can humble ourselves around that, the more we can find our place and carve our avenue out in the world and make a proper purpose. Yes. Oh, this was such a nice conversation. I'm, yes. It's so much fun on today. Fun. Yeah. And I look forward to learning more about your work and following you. I'm gonna check out your website. So tell us again. It's heather simco.com. That's H-E-A-T-H-E-R-S-I-M as in mary, c o.com. Exactly. And that's all my social media is. Luckily I'm the only Heather Simco out here doing this, so it's all of my social tags. And then same Danielle Tantone. It's very unique. There's not a lot. I lucked out. Oh yeah. Heather Simco out there didn't have my same idea, so I'm fortunate. It's so nice to meet you and talk to you. Likewise. I'll drop your, website and stuff into the show notes. Yeah, follow each other. Like I said, I've got my retreat coming up. I'd love to continue working and seeing which ways we can help each other grow perfect. Thank you so much reaching. You're welcome. Likewise. Thanks for listening to Piece of Work, the podcast.